The Truth Hurts

"The rest of the day was a blur for Matt. He couldn't get anything right, not breakfast, nothing!" I said as Nina was just staring back at me in amazement at the recent twist of events in my little tale.

"So Jasmine never aborted the baby and Isla never knew her father", she repeated in shock.

"Was it Matt's daughter?" Nina asked as she got up to stretch. As she looked out onto Cottesloe Beach, some cars were just parking out front, surfers in early to catch the surf coming in that morning. One of them actually knocked on the front door asking for a cup of coffee but Nina gestured that they were closed. The young scruffy haired surfer just walked away.

"He looks a bit like a young Nick", I said to Nina.

"Now that you've mentioned it, he does", she smiled.

"That's freaky. Anyway, is Isla Matt's daughter?" Nina asked again.

I stare out of the window and onto the beach. The surfers were out on the beach, some paddling in to catch a wave others already enjoying the swell of the morning. The white foam crashing onto the beach with a thunderous roar and I can faintly hear the squawk of seagulls flying above. I vividly remember that day when Jasmine finally arrived at Lighthouse Bungalow and till today I cannot fully wrap my head around the fact that Isla just literally walked into my life after all those years of lost hope. I never watched her grow into the beautiful woman that she was when I first laid eyes on her. I never got to watch her take her first steps and never heard her mention her first words. I never got to kiss her goodnight or make her breakfast in the morning. All the things I only dreamed of doing with Isla I had already missed out on. If she never came back into my life then maybe the pain and regret would be somewhat bearable but when I knew that she was there all along and that it was me who had left her, it didn't feel right at all.

I was lost for words and emotions to describe what I felt that day. All the questions whizzed around in my head and even today I find myself questioning myself and always wondering if this is all just a horrible mistake.

"Yes, she is", I finally answered.

Nina just stared at me, speechless. The awkward silence was deafening.

"What happens next?" Nina asked excitedly.

The morning Jasmine was to arrive, Matt had made arrangements for Ganesan to pick her up from the airport. Isla went along that afternoon but Matt had stayed back to prepare for dinner and also to calm his nerves. He tried to keep himself busy but Matt was too overwhelmed by all the thoughts running through his head. As the sun was about to set on Lighthouse Bungalow, Matt perched himself on a rock at the edge of the property overlooking the stunning views the Island of Langkawi offered. He turns around to face the road leading into the property and he can see the dust in the distance. Ganesan was making his way back from the airport. His chest was thumping so hard and he felt nauseas as he saw the car in the distance. The car finally slowed down and drove up to a halt at the front of the house. Matt took a deep breath, turned around and started walking toward the bungalow. He could see Ganesan taking luggage out of the boot of the Wira and Isla was helping her mother out of the back of the car. A wheelchair emerged from the boot and Matt could see a frail framed woman with a scarf covering her head, get out of the car and sit in the wheelchair.

Isla noticed him approach them and smiled. Then she leaned over to the woman and whispered something into her ear. As Matt approached the woman in the wheelchair she turned to look at him.

"Hi, Jasmine", Matt said.

She was first shocked, then her expression softened and she finally recognized him. She couldn't say anything or maybe she didn't know where to start, then she stared to tear and eventually she shook from crying. Matt knelt down and embraced her.

"Babe", she whispered, struggling to say anything else.

"Hi babe", he whispered back. "It's okay babe. It's okay."

Isla and Ganesan were staring at each other with confusion when they finally let go of each other. Jasmine wiped her eyes and tried to compose herself as Matt tried to contain himself.

"Isla baby, I don't know how else to say this to you sweetie", Jasmine said.

"What?" Ganesan replied.

"Just shut up Ganesan", Matt quickly snapped.

"Yeah, what is it mum?" Isla asked as she knelt next to her mother.

"Isla, this is your father."

The Beginning Of The End

The early morning was cool and calm. The beach was quiet, the coconut trees scattered across the retreat were still, almost like they were sleeping, and the water was like a slab of slightly rippled glass, reflecting the splendor of the sunrise. The tranquility was what Matt always woke up for, to experience the world as it were before the chaos of the day began. He stood by the patio of Lighthouse Bungalow with a cup of coffee in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He must have heard that name before but for the life of him, he could only recall one moment at this point, when that name meant something to him. It was the time when Jasmine and he decided to name the baby should it be girl. The bittersweet memory flashed before him.

She never wanted that baby. She made it clear to him. That is why he was in Langkawi. That is why he left for twenty years. He never understood or maybe could not bring himself to understand why she never wanted a part of us to live on. She opted to fix an already broken marriage than start a new life with him and it shattered him to pieces. When she told him that she was going to abort the pregnancy, he was devastated and when she finally told him that the marriage was worth saving it just took all the life out of him. So he left and that was some twenty odd years ago.

"Hi", he heard her say and for a while he thought it was Jasmine. Isla startled him out of his wondering dream. He turned to face her and there she was standing by the doorway. She sounded so much like her, Matt thought to himself.

"Hey there, what you doing up so early?"

"I couldn't sleep and I saw you from my window", she was pointing up to the second floor window as she smiled.

"Ganesan told me that you this often so I thought I'd come and see what all the fuss is about", her smile almost sarcastic but it was beautiful nonetheless.

"What, standing on the patio in the early morning?" Matt asked, slightly confused.

"No, staring at the beach. He told me you do it often. In fact he said you do it everyday around sunset but he didn't say you do it in the mornings too", her look was more concerned than worried.

"I should stitch that bastards mouth shut when I see him next", she knew he was joking despite the serious look on his face. She giggled slightly.

"So he's right then?" she asked as she moved closer to him. He kept silent watching the crack of dawn. Isla sat by the steps and stared into the early morning sunrise too.

"He says it’s matters of the heart", she continued, still absorbing the beauty of the still morning.

"You ask way too many questions, kiddo", Matt suggested.

"Let me ask a few then I might answer yours", he looked at her and smiled.

"Shoot", she snapped, not looking at him.

"Why are you here by yourself?"

"Because I'm checking it out for my mum. She went through therapy for cancer about six months ago and I just thought that it would be good for her to chill in a quiet and peaceful place. She deserves the break from reality I guess. So here I am checking it out."

"So far, so good?"

"It's perfect actually. She'll like it very much."

"So when does she get here?"

"I'll ring her later to tell her the good news then she should be here tomorrow morning, if all goes well", she said.

"Is she ok? Your mum, is she fit to go for a holiday?" Matt asked.

"Yeah, she is. She's still her cheerful self. She's strong like that."

The sun was now above the horizon and the bright orange and yellow morning sunlight lit up the dark blue sky. The clouds were heavy and wind was just breezing in slightly.

"Listen, I better get cracking with breakfast", Matt said quickly.

"Hey, It's your turn to answer some questions mister?!!" Isla said, almost shouting. She still had that smile on her face.

"I will, I promise, just not now. Give me your mother's details and I'll get that loud-mouthed Ganesan to pick her up from the airport", Matt said as he walked back into the retreat.

"What's her name?" Matt shouted from inside.

"Jasmine Raslan", Isla said and Matt just stopped in his tracks and turned to face her.

"Is your dad coming too?" He asked. He just had to know.

"I never knew my father." His heart was racing.

Part 10 - Island Holiday

"I've heard of the place!!" Nina shouted in excitement.

"Jesus Nina, you scared the shit out of me! Oh, you have. That's good" I replied with a smile on my face.

"Yeah, a tourist guide we were talking to said we should visit the place because of the beautiful scenery there. He said the guy who owned it loved the place. It was a motel of some sort, right?" Nina asked, almost jumping out of her seat.

"And so you know the owner, it's Matt!! Hang on, I feel like I know him now" she said giggling to herself.

"That's cool..and he would be roughly your age, wouldn't he?" Nina continued with the questions.
"You guys were classmates or something? Is your name Ritchie?" she looked at me inquisitively, like she was almost solving a murder mystery.

"Haha..easy Nina, my name is Amir, it's not Ritchie. It's amazing that we know each other and speak to one another for, what is it, three months now, but you don't know my name?" I said to her, with a playfully accusing look on my face.

"I know, sorry E-mire, is it?" Nina said with a cheeky smile now across her face.

"It's A-mir." I replied, correcting her.

"And yes, we are roughly about the same age."

"Anyway, it was like any other day at the Bungalow and, by this time, it had been running for almost a year. Things were looking good and word had spread that Lighthouse Bungalow was the place to have a private getaway" I started again and Nina sat down to pay attention.

"Then it all happened" I said.

The plane landed and she was excited that her long awaited holiday was about to come true. She fought tooth and nail for this holiday and she was not about to let it all go down the drain. So she decided to do the research and organize it herself. It was going to be a easy and small getaway with her mum but she was certain it was going to be memorable one. When a friend suggested a holiday by the beach that was totally private, she jumped at the idea. It would be good for mum to rest and relax after her treatment, she thought.

A month after she booked her flight to the island. She made plans such that she would see the place first on her own and make the necessary arrangements for mum then she would join her a few days later. They would spend the week there just to get away from it all and some time together. A brilliant plan, she thought.

As she made her way out of the airport, she saw a thin Indian man standing by the arrival gate holding a small whiteboard with her name on it. She approached the man and asked if he was to take her to The Lighthouse Bungalow. He smiled and said yes. Soon they were in his Proton Wira and on their way to the retreat.

It was a pleasant day on Langkawi Island that afternoon. The drive to the bungalow from the airport took about thirty minutes but she enjoyed the drive completely. She introduced herself to the driver hoping to make conversation and find out more about the retreat. The driver in turn introduced himself as Ganesan. He was a friendly elderly man in his late fifties; spoke immaculately, well mannered and most knowledgeable of these parts. He mentioned that the bungalow had only five rooms and that that was the attraction.

"Privacy is why people keep coming back to the bungalow and also because the owner runs the place himself so it has his personal touch on everything, even the food. He is a chef, you know", he explained to her as they took the turn off to the more rural area of the island.

"But my wife can cook better than him lah!", he jokingly said and laughed to himself. She laughed with him at this then asked,

"What's his name? I never found his name on the website".

"He a little bit action lah. Everyone calls him Matt but he has another name. He's local but I think because a lot of white people cannot pronounce his name".

They were now turning into the dirt road that led to the retreat and throughout the drive she had admired the surroundings. T he drive took her through the small town of Langkawi with foodstalls scattered across it, almost on every street corner. Elderly women selling snacks or drinks, fruit stalls selling the seasons harvests. Rows of shop lots with its small businesses buzzing, making the town busier than usual. Bicycles and motorcycles criss-crossing each other like bees looking for the perfect flower to sit on.

By the time they reached Lighthouse Bungalow, the sun was low on the horizon and looked like a gigantic orange sitting on the ocean. Long shadows made the estate look mysterious and full of dark secrets like the hiding place of a pirate and his lost treasure. Ganesan honked as he pulled up to the front entrance. It was windy when she got out of the car and stood at the edge of the property staring at the beauty of the sun setting on the island. The waves crashing onto the beach sounded almost like rolling thunder. This is perfect, she thought to herself. The Indian man smiled at her when she was finally able to take her eyes off the sunset.

"I've been living here for almost twenty years and I still cannot get enough of the view. Beautiful, isn't it?" Ganesan asked.

He didn't wait for a reply.

"Your bags are at the lobby. Just go through the front door and it's immediately on your left. Matt will be with you shortly. He's down by the beach. Around this time, everyday, he just sits there by himself for hours until the sun sets. Something very wrong with that boy, I tell you".

"What do you mean, Mr. Ganesan?" she asked, curiously. She was starting to take quite an interest in this man she finds so intriguing, full of mystery.

"Please miss, just call me Ganesan. No lah, he is not at peace. Matters of the heart are not easy to mend. I've seen this before, a boy in the village where I live. He finally killed himself. Sad lah, he was a good Indian fellow", he said shaking his head.

"Oh ok. Well I think he's not going to kill himself just yet Ganesan He has my holiday to look after. After that he can do whatever he wants", she replied smiling at him, trying to not let Ganesan spoil the moment for her.

As she made her way to the entrance she saw him coming up the hill. He was fit for his age, she thought. A solid built man in his late forties, maybe early fifties with wavy grey hair just touching the shoulders and a goatee. He was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. His bare feet plugging through the soft sand making its way up the small incline leading up to the retreat.

"Hi there, welcome to Lighthouse Bungalow", he greeted with a soft smile across his face. She could have easily mistaken the smile for effort from climbing up the incline. She smiled back nonetheless.

"Hi, you must be Matt. It's a beautiful place you have here", she answered.

"Thank you, it's alright I guess. It does the job. Not bad for an old man", he shouted back.

As he approached her, she thought it would be appropriate to introduce herself.

"I'm Isla, thanks for having me on such short notice", she said sticking out her hand to shake his.

When he heard the name he stopped walking for a moment. In a blink of an eye, the blood rush he felt just moments earlier standing on the beach came rushing back. How a name could bring such emotions in just an instant was beyond him. He was too overwhelmed with pain and joy at the same time to think of that right now. He had not heard that name for a long time, too long in fact. Again, memory's ugly head had surfaced without a warning. And with all the strength he had left in him he answered,

"That's a very nice name".

Part 9 - Dreams Do Come True

It was a twenty minute drive from the turn off going toward the south east shoreline of the island. It was mainly just clay dirt road and jungle on either side of us and at that hour of the morning it was a pretty scary drive. It felt like they were fugitives running away to some secret hideaway, just like the movies.

The sun was coming up when they reached a T-junction and they could see the traces of cloud with a thin line of light around it. The sky was starting to come alive with colour. The dark, black sky, now turning slowly from blue to grey as they turned left and carried on. The jungle was now only on their left and Matt could see the shoreline on the right. With their car windows down, they could feel the morning breeze blowing cool air into their faces.

There it was just as the sun came up on them. The clouds were shades of white and grey with the suns morning rays in its background showering the sea and the beach with orange light. The waves were crashing on the beach with a light breeze just coming in from the west that made him gasp and stare at the beauty of the morning.

"Matt, it's over here", Hassan shouted. Hassan had made his way up a small hill and was waving to him to make his way there. Admiring the view, Matt didn't realize Hassan had walked quite a distance and he needed to catch up.

"Ok, Ok, I'm coming. The view is awesome Hassan! Fucking awesome!", Matt shouted back at him, not doing so well at containing his excitement.

Hassan just laughed as he waited for Matt to reach him.

"If you think that's great, see this view", he shouted back as Matt was almost up the hill. He was panting making his way up that hill but as soon as Matt reached the top and saw the bungalow below him, he was blown away. The bungalow was old and run down, to say the least. The main structure was still solid but everything else had dueled the harshness of the weather and lost.

"It needs a lot of work but it'll do", that was all Matt could say.

"Yeah, but I know some people who can do it reasonably cheaply", Hassan
answered.

"lt's perfect Hassan, exactly what I was looking for. Thank you", saying this while still admiring the potential the bungalow had and his mind raced with plans being drawn up in his head.

He postponed his trip back that day and spent the next few months in Langkawi renovating and refurbishing the bungalow. After 6 months, the bungalow was ready and it was exactly how Matt imagined it. He called it the Lighthouse Bungalow.

Part 8 - Lighthouse Bungalow

"Actually Matt left for Australia and was here in Perth for a long time. He was a chef and was working in some of Perth best restaurants." I explained to Nina.

"Really?" Nina asked, very curious.

"Yeah, but that was a long time ago. He eventually made his way to Langkawi. He always had a dream and he had saved enough to retire in Langkawi and fulfill that dream." I said.

"And all that time Jasmine and Matt never met?" Nina asked.

"That's right but Matt was a tortured soul Nina. He never forgot the one love of his life. Everyday he regretted leaving and he loved her everyday of those twenty years they were apart. He remembered what he considered to be the best part of his life as vividly as if it was yesterday. All the while he was trying to forget the mistakes that he had made and move on but he just could not. It was always there at the back of his mind, thinking of all the things that could have been" I said.

"Twenty years?!!", she exclaimed.

"So Langkawi was recent? Is he still there now?", she asked excitedly.

"Yes it is recent but he is an old man now Nina" I said to her, calming her down somewhat.

"Matt left for Langkawi five years ago and ventured on his life long dream"

"Oh, tell me about it cause I was there about that time!" Nina said excitedly.

And so I started to tell her a story about an island.

The ocean was like a blanket of blue velvet covering a sea of white sand that didn't quite fit, like a size too small. The edges formed the beach he was standing on, watching the blue sky with not a cloud in sight. The sun was slightly behind him and its rays reflected off the water like millions of diamonds washing up to shore. It was a beautiful day to be alive. The breeze was slight, just enough for it to be refreshing. The coconut trees scattered along the beach were waving to the horizon and whispering to me of something I don't quite understand. Chinese whispers almost.

Thoughts of the way things were and the way it was overwhelmed him immediately like a blood rush. A sight so calming, he never knew, could bring about such memories. Memories he has chosen to forget but were never quite forgotten. Things said that were never quite understood. Feelings conveyed that were not returned in kind. In short, a nightmare of memories he would give anything to forget. You might think him foolish to be having these sorts of memories in his head but in every persons life there will always be one memory that just stays with you forever. It hounds you, always lingering at the back of your mind. Every so often it pops its ugly head out, be it a song, a scent of perfume or a long forgotten place.

A couple of oil tankers are moving at such a snails pace that it looks like it just anchored there for the day. As he turns to walk back to the colonial structure behind him, he thinks of why life is such that it keeps reminding us of the things we find so difficult to forget. To struggle with such emotions for such a long time is hard on the soul. It makes us hard and cold inside with not a care for the feelings of others because the soul gives up trying to accommodate others when the soul itself is struggling to heal. He hears the honking, and the car pulling up. Ganesan is back, he says to himself.

The structure he is walking toward is an old bungalow that was just left to ruins when he first laid eyes on it. The island of Langkawi had always been his favourite holiday destination as a teenager and so when the decision was made to retire from the stresses of a commercial kitchen and move to the island he was as excited as kid at a birthday party. He found a real estate agent through a friend that was still living on the mainland, Kedah. The agent was a stout Malay man by the name of Hassan. A jovial man in his late forties that spoke enough English for them to enjoy each others company throughout the land hunting expedition. Hassan took him to some remote areas of the island that could potentially offer Matt a decent retirement home. I searched for weeks but nothing seemed to appeal to him until Hassan called on the morning he was suppose to head back to the mainland. In fact he called at four thirty in the morning.

Hassan dragged Matt out of bed and into his four wheel drive, a big smile on his face and very excited at the prospect of finally getting him what he wanted.

"I think I found what you want, Matt", he said as they turned into a dirt road off the main drag.

"Hassan, this better be good, it's bloody five in the morning! Don't you sleep?" he said to Hassan, still not fully awake.

"A friend call me last night on my hand phone but I didn't receive his message until this morning, battery died. So when I got the message I terus call you. Trust me Matt, you will fall in love with it." Hassan said with a big, big smile on his face.

Part 7 - Choices

"You're watching too much of the Young and Restless sweetie", Nina said to me.

"Honest to god Nina, this is true. I know how it sounds but Matt was seriously in the shit", I replied.

Nina got up to clear the table, coffee cups that we accumulated from the two hours sitting there, used sugar sachets all curled up into disfigured little balls of paper and coffee stains left on the table.

"I'll clear this up for another round, if you're up for it", she asked as she walked away to get a tray from the bar.

"I won't say no to coffee. Sure I'll have another one." I said getting up from my chair to have walk around the café. My bum was aching from sitting for far too long.

I walked to the window of the café and stared out into the dark Perth night. During the day, I could see the beach from where I was standing but now the only indication of a mass body of water not 200 meters from me was the moon shimmering off the ocean and the occasional white foam of waves crashing onto the beach. The rain had picked up again and the heavy drizzle brought with it the whistling and howling of the wind, the nearby trees rustling and swaying to the violent rhythm of it. It reminded me of a place I once called home, a place where I was happy and at peace somewhat. The moon now disappeared to rest behind the dark rain clouds and the rain battering onto the window now blurred my vision of the Perth beach.

"So Jasmine and Matt sorted things out or did they just got rid of it, the baby I mean?" Nina suddenly asked.

I turned to face her, trying not to remember the beach and the emotions it brought with it every time I saw one.

"They kinda sorted it out. Matt came to terms with the fact that Jasmine was married although he was never happy with the fact that he had to share her with someone else. It always bugged him that at the end of everyday, she went home to someone else, and it was not the one she loved. Jasmine, on the other hand, was confused. She was trying to patch things up with her husband but her feelings for Matt was just too much to ignore. It did cross her mind to leave the marriage and be with him, and the fact that she was now bearing his child, made her seriously consider that option. But Jasmine came from a broken home and so divorce was something she thought to be taboo. She never wanted to end up like her mother. She considered it a massive failure."

"Right, so they could have just kept the baby, divorced the husband, got married and everything would have been ok", Nina said with the simplest of logic.

"Yes, but life is never that simple, is it? We will never know why people make the choices they do and we never know how the decisions we make now can affect us in the future. That was exactly what happened to them. Both made their decisions at the time based on, looking back on it, what I consider to be gut feeling. Whether or not it was the correct decision, well, I don't know."

We both sat down again with hot steaming coffees to keep us warm as the story continued. Nina was just as curious as when she first sat down to listen to me ramble on about a story. We both sat there for a while, pondering on what I had just said.

"He left her you know", I told Nina.

"Matt left her?" Nina asked, a little outraged.

"The bastard!" she added.

"It's the decisions we make, isn't it?" I replied.

"They had seriously talked about settling down and even named the baby. She was to be called Isla. Jasmine just knew it was going to be a girl. But one day Jasmine said she aborted the pregnancy and that crushed Matt to pieces. At the time it was everything he ever wanted. His college crush coming back from oblivion to have this wonderful two month love affair, to bear his child and live happily ever after. It's what fairytales are made of, isn't it? But life is never a fairytale." I said.

My lips quivering slightly and my eyes were starting to fill with tears. I looked down to hide the emotion and to keep myself in control. I loved her with every beat of my heart.

"Did he at least say good-bye?" Nina asked, her lips pursed and a frowned expression her face.

"He did and she gave him a book to remember her by. It had a note on the front page" I explained

"Take care of yourself. Send me a postcard from wherever you are. Loving you always, Jasmine" I continued.

"And with that he left…to an island." I said and Nina gave a small smile then she whispered,

"Langkawi."

Part 6 - Life's A Bitch

The buzz around the restaurant faded into a murmur and he could feel the spear of reality stab his chest, pierce his flesh and rip through his heart. He could not feel anything but the thumping in his chest growing harder and harder after every breath. He took a long drag of his cigarette, trying to get back to the present and assess the situation as objectively as he possibly could. He felt that same feeling he had standing on top of the hill, the crushing feeling of heartache. He was not sure how to react or feel once her statement finally sunk in. The murmurs now turned to echoes of non-descript chatter then it slowly came back to a clear buzz of conversation. He could hear her asking him if he was alright or that maybe he needed a glass of water.

"Er, no I don't need a glass of water", Matt said to her, realizing that the waitress was standing at their table waiting for his answer.

"I need a double shot of scotch on the rocks, please."

"Are you okay babe?" she asked, not knowing how he would react to the question.

"I don't know. I thought you were…never mind. It doesn't matter now. So what were these last six weeks, just sex and a bit of fun? So this is all a lie?" he asked, shifting in his chair nervously at what her answer might be.

"No sweetie! Of course not…I have had the best time in such a long time but its complicated babe. Iqbal, my husband, and I have been having problems for about a year now. He..I.., I caught him with someone else and since then we have been trying hard to patch things up but it's been useless. Then we met and things just happened so fast, and I was happy that it did. Happy like a school girl again. I have not felt this way with anyone, not even Iqbal and it felt so right, being with you, even right now. It feels so right! I don't know what to do baby."

"So why are you telling me this now?" Matt asked.

"Because he has been away the last three months and he arrives home tomorrow night. Then it's going to be difficult to see you."

"Fuck babe! I..I don't know what to say. I'm lost for words. I thought this was going somewhere and I never once thought you'd be married. If I had known, I wouldn't have..well, you know!"

"I know and I'm sorry baby. I want this as much as you do, I really do and I wish things were different." Jasmine said and he knew she was genuine about this, about them, whatever "them" meant. She was serious and somehow he believed her.

"And there's something else baby", and now she looked really worried.

"I'm four weeks pregnant."

"Oh Fuck!" he said as he slammed back the scotch.

Part 5 - The Truth Hurts

"Hey baby, I'd love to meet up tonight. :) Sorry about the other day. Something came up. Say 7pm@delicious? Love you. :)"

That was all the text message had read. He agreed in reply and hoped that this time it would not be cancelled at the last minute again. It was six weeks since that night at Starbucks, and a brilliant six weeks at that. They felt like college kids again. They went for movies, dinners and lunches whenever they could. They'd sneak dates between meetings, all the time in each others arms, madly in love as if they were catching up for lost time, not wanting to miss any spare moment being in each others arms. All they did was look into each others eyes in silence and whisper sweet nothings into each others ear, then kiss, and the sex was amazing! It was as if they were in another world. A world where whenever they were together time stopped and they were caught in the past. Everything felt like they had never left each other for the last thirteen years. It was an overwhelmingly surreal feeling and they both felt it. They could see it in each others eyes. And tonight will be no different. They would have dinner, sip on some wine and talk about the past, the present and on recent occasions the future was mentioned.

Delicious was a café started in a modest boutique by a local designer. It was a hit with the ladies serving modern contemporary cuisine with Malaysian influences to feed the taste buds of locals and foreigners alike. It was such a hit that in just three years it became Kuala Lumpur's leading modern contemporary restaurant with three branches throughout the capital. The outlet they had reservations with was their latest branch in a new wing of a mall. The interior was chic, smart, funky yet classy with good use of contours and angles. It had a clinical, clean finish of whites and hints of aqua, turquoise and blue. Smart use of space made for a long white sofa up along the length of the contoured wall splitting the restaurant into the smoking and non-smoking sections. They both smoked so it was the former section that they had reserved a table in.

"I have a question. Why didn't you come to the airport that day?" Jasmine asked after the waitress had taken their orders.

Matt looked at her for a moment, deliberating whether it was time to reveal how deep he felt for her.

"Because it was too painful to see you go", he said.

"C'mon, it couldn't have been that bad. We were friends for less than two years", she replied.

"Do you really wanna know babe?" Matt asked.

"Yes, of course I do. It was something that I always thought about when I was away".

He looked up to face her, put his cigarette down in the ashtray in front of them, took a deep breath, and said:

"Because I loved you from the moment I met you. I loved everything about you, everything! And I was crushed when you told me that you were leaving that I couldn't bring myself to see you go. But I still couldn't tell you because I was afraid of making a fool of myself, afraid that I wasn't good enough for you. I love you as much now as I did that first day".

It was off his chest and he was, in a way, relieved. It took her by complete surprise. She never knew that he felt this deeply for her and that he still did to this day.

"Wow, I never knew you felt that way baby", Jasmine said, lighting a cigarette. Her face now had a slightly concerned expression.

"Is there something wrong? Did I say too much?"

"No baby, I'm glad, really I am and I love you too", she smiled trying to hide her growing concern.

"Is there something wrong babe?", he asked, but he never saw it coming.

"Well, the reason I wanted to see you tonight was to discuss something babe, and this is probably not the best time for it but, I didn't know how to tell you sooner."

He looked puzzled and then perched up slightly to pay attention to this sudden change of mood. He was edgy and slightly nervous at the way this conversation was heading but never, for the life of him, did he see it coming.

"I'm married baby. I'm sorry", she couldn't even look at him.

Part 4 - A Rush of Blood

The Starbucks they agreed to meet at was crowded that Tuesday evening. The mall was starting to fill up with patrons taking a break from the day's busy schedule. Matt ordered his drink, a Grande Iced Mocha, no whipped cream then looked around as he was standing at the pick-up counter. He saw the perfect spot just outside, in the alfresco area of the coffee shop. That's what it was really, a glorified coffee shop serving expensive coffee with an alfresco. More importantly, it was the designated smoking area. Important because he was as nervous as a schoolboy at his first recital, he needed a cigarette, and pronto! He checked his watch again and it still read what it read ten seconds ago, 7:26 pm. The seven thirty appointment was close at hand and he was now starting to sweat, from the heat of the outdoor area and also from the wait. He had waited thirteen years for this day.

She was the one who came up to him that night at the restaurant three days ago, and since then he has been asking himself why. She could have easily just left it alone but she didn't. Instead, she came up to introduce herself, watch his jaw drop when she mentioned her name then proceeded to give him her number. Now, his world had just been turned upside down and inside out. He could not stop thinking of this appointment and everything he did from that day was as clumsy as a newborn calf taking its first steps. He couldn't think straight and he often found himself smiling to himself, his chest thumping in excitement at the thought that it was one more sleep to seeing Jasmine again. Matt lit a cigarette, took a long drag then a sip of his Mocha and just calmed himself down and waited. The warm Malaysian evening was starting to cool down a little as a breeze swept through the alfresco area.

A bunch of college kids were three tables away, chatting and banter aloud, their chuckles and laughs, boys impressing the girls and the girls politely laughing at them, some with them. We use to be like that, Ritchie, Jasmine, Farah, Rene, Gowdri and I, we use to sit in a coffee shop and talk, laugh, banter and tease. Those were good times, and it's amazing I still remember all their names, Matt thought to himself. He smiled to himself, going back to those carefree college days when your studies meant a lot but your friends meant the world.

"Hey Matt", there she was standing in front of him.

"Hey there", was all Matt could say, startled out of his day dream.

This was the second time she had caught him with his mouth open. Mental note, don't fucking do that again !, Matt thought to himself. He quickly got up to greet her, stumbled on the foot of the table and tripped forward. You could see the rush of blood to the head and the blushes starting to appear. She let out a soft laugh, covering her mouth with one hand then her smile. There it was, he just saw a glimpse of what he had waited thirteen years to see again. The tingle shot down his spine, the butterflies churned his stomach and the hairs at the back of his neck stood up. That smile never failed to amaze him.

"Oh my god, you haven't changed", he said to her as he was giving her a friendly hug.

"Well, I have lost weight", Jasmine replied, her smile still intact.

"How are you?", he asked.

"Good, better now that we're here", she winked, then chuckled jokingly.

"Yeah, err, let me get you a drink", was all Matt could reply, his nerves stuttering him.

They sat down that evening just catching up on thirteen years of lost conversation. Reminiscing the old times, all the old haunts and reliving most of their college days really. It was a good night, they were both laughing and it was as if they never lost touch. It was like the old days again. They moved closer to each other, the stories got better and the laughs more deliberate. Their hands were both trying to keep still but they were always ending up fiddling a straw or a sugar sachet. All this while there was only one thought that kept popping up in his mind. He tried so hard to suppress it but to no avail. He just had to know and after waiting this long he was not going to miss the opportunity again. So he found the strength and courage to ask her, or rather, to tell her. Then there was an awkward silence. They both looked at each other, smiling. Words were at the tips of their tongue but it just would not come out.

"Hey Jasmine, there's something I've been meaning to tell you. I told myself that if I ever saw you again I would. I don't know why and it probably doesn't matter anymore but I have to", he said to her.

"I wanted to as well, Matt", she said, smiling and catching him off guard.

"Sorry, what was that?" he asked.

"You heard me", she said, her smile now bigger and a slight blush on her cheeks.

"I was going to say that I always wanted to go out with you all those years ago but never had the guts to say it", he blurted out.

"Me too. I wanted to as well", she said, her eyes fixed on his.

She reached her hand out to grab his and she squeezed with just enough strength to let him know that she meant what she had just said. No more words were needed after that. They never let go of each others hands that night. They both knew this was what was supposed to happen thirteen years ago.

"I think that night, love was in the air", I said and Nina just smiled.

Part 3 - The Ground Rules

"It all started in KL, a long, long time ago. Well, it seems that way now anyway. But at the time he didn't even know important that day was." I thought this was the best way to start.

"And so…"

"What's his name?" she interrupted me.

"What?!", I replied, a little annoyed at the abrupt interruption.

"I haven't even started anything and you're giving me grief already! Hold your horses sweetie and it'll all be revealed!"

"Well, bloody hurry up then!" she snapped back. She had a puzzled look on her face as if she had done nothing wrong.

"Geez, Nina! You wanna listen to this story or what?!" I snapped, still able to smile at her.

"Alright then, carry on. Oh wait, maybe we should have a round of coffees before we start. It'll just be a minute" and she rushed off to make us some coffee.

"If you must know, his name is Matt." I said, my thoughts going back to those wonderful adolescent days.

Nina smiled at me as she was making coffee, acknowledging the name. She said nothing and neither did I. We were both silent and all that was breaking the silence of that calm peaceful night was the sharp slurping, gurgling sound of milk being frothed. Then she came back with coffees in hand. We looked at each other while enjoying the silence of the night Perth had to offer. The rain had stopped and the street lights beamed onto the sidewalks as the street cleaners swept Hampton Street. From the silence we could hear the soft hum of the heaters and the room was now cozy enough for me to take my jacket off. I decided to start from the beginning.

He sat all by himself at the top of that hill. The evening sun was setting and the bright red and orange ball in the distance was again showing off its beautiful artwork, like a proud peacock. The sky was filled with cloud, light orange and white balls of cotton sitting in a blue and magenta colored canvas. Just below it sat the skyscrapers of Kuala Lumpur. In the distance he heard the Azan faintly calling Muslims to Maghrib prayers. The streets down below were jammed packed with cars, still stuck in peak hour traffic. From the lookout point of that hill, he turned around from the sunset to see an approaching car. It parked next to the sidewalk. It's Ritchie, he said to himself.

"Matt", Ritchie called out to him.

"What's up, my man?" was Matt's reply.

"Don't do this to yourself dude. She'll be back even before you know it". Ritchie was trying to console him.

"Yeah, I guess", Matt replied, shrugging off the awkward moment.

"She wanted you to have this", Ritchie handing him a piece of paper about the size of a note pad.

"Please take care of yourself. I'll send you a postcard when I get there. Love, Jasmine"
That was all it said.

They both sat there for a long time that evening, talking about her and how she made the three of them whole, a friendship that was to last forever. Ritchie had just sent her off to the airport. Matt was in no state to see her go. The pain was too much for him because he never got the chance to say what he wanted to say to her. He loved her but was too afraid to break a bond so dear to all three of them. So he never sent her off to the airport that fateful day and for the next thirteen years regretted it every time he passed by the hill. Until one day, in a busy Italian restaurant, there she was standing before him. Now he had his chance.

"She just popped up out of nowhere?", Nina asked while sipping her coffee.

"Well, yeah, she did", I replied, sipping mine.

"They fall in love and live happily ever after. Am I right?", Nina asked sarcastically.

"I wish I could say it was that simple". That was all I could say to her.

Part 2 - The Beginning of the End

"Well, have you ever been to Malaysia?" I asked Nina as she made herself comfortable across from me.

"Er, I was there a few years ago with my ex. It was an Island..er..I can't remember what it was."

"This is a story of an Island. What happened on that Island, you know, was something special."

You could see her eyes light up with excitement. She sat up to be more attentive and she had a reminiscing smile on her face. She took a sip of her coffee and turned around to see if the customers were ready to leave. All of them were engrossed in their own little fairytales. She turned back to me and this time the smile was big, like she had just remembered the fondest of memories.

"Langkawi!!", she suddenly blurted out. It startled me slightly.

"How did you know?" i asked.

"What..er..no, that's the name of the island i went to, Langkawi."

"Oh, well then this makes the story a lot easier to tell. This is a story about Langkawi", i told her as i smiled.

"Oh, good! I loved it there!", she gleamed and clapped her hands close to her chest in excitement.

As I was about to break into the story, a couple got up to leave. Nina turned as they got up, dragging the heels of the chairs they were sitting on, as they did. Nina went to unlock the front door and saw them out with that beautiful smile. And as if by telepathy, the other two tables too decided it was time to go. One asked for the bill and so Nina gestured for me to hold that thought and i smiled. I'm about to tell a story of my life to a complete stranger. A story that would either make her love me for being who I was or hate me for being the man that I am. Nonetheless I had to find out for myself, from someone that was neutral, whether or not what I did was one of courage or one of cowardice. It has taken me a long time to muster even the thought of repeating this anyone. Now here I am, five years on, sitting in an empty cafe, quarter to two in the morning, with a girl I barely even know, about to spill the darkest, most painful experience I had ever faced.

I can't say that it never crossed my mind to just get up and leave. Tell her that I was trying to get in her pants and just leave it alone for a while longer. That would have been the easy way to deal with it. I am here, in this foreign land precisely because I ran away from everything. From telling the truth, from explaining myself, from the pain and from reality. A story that makes for a blockbuster movie....hehe. I chuckled to myself at that thought. Nothing could be further from the truth. It's just a story about, well, about decisions, really; and how they affect your life. Whether or not three left turns bring you back to where you started? But life isn't just about you, is it? How profound is a man's decision that it would ripple through the life of others.

I sat there tapping my fingers in thought, my cappuccino now cold. The drizzle was still blanketing the cafe and I could hear the slightest of pitter patter on the sail covering the alfresco area just outside the charming cafe.

"It's getting a bit cold in her", Nina said as she led the last of her guests out.

"I'll turn the heater on."

"Yeah, maybe you should", I replied, my thoughts still lingering in the still air.

"Where were we?", she asked as she sat down again, pulling in her chair and resting her arms on the table to hold her chin up.

My heart raced. This was it. There is no turning back now. And so i began to tell her a story.

Once Upon A Time Part 1

The café was empty except for the three tables by the window. Couples having supper and coffee after a night on the town, probably after the late night show. It was a small little café along Hampden Road in the suburb of Subiaco. Old marble floors across the entire place with nice wooden chairs and tables. The kind you see in old Chinese coffee shops but with no marble tops. Antique meets new age. The old bar was now the main service area where coffee and teas are served. Part of the bar is now a display chiller for dessert and cakes. It was a nice quiet place. I often come here just sip coffee and read my novels. I love to read novels. I get carried away from reading that I end up spending the whole day here sometimes, on Sundays.That night was cold. It had not stopped raining since early afternoon. The streets were now deserted and I could still see the drizzle from the street lights beaming onto the line of cars parked just outside the café. There was jazz playing in the background. I’m almost at the end of The Kite Runner and nothing was going to stop me from finishing that book tonight. Not even Nick, the owner.

Nick was a blonde haired, scruffy looking man, like a retired surfer, with grey eyes and a strong chisselled face. His stubble blanketing his square chin and his hair just covering his eyes. He actually was a professional surfer but had to put an end to that ambition when he broke his knee in a skate-boarding accident. So, from a Cottesloe Beach hero he decided to open a café with what was left from his sponsorships and winnings to try and make ends meet. Luckily, it all worked out well. Now, he has opened another outlet smack on Cottesloe Beach, one of the famous beaches in Perth, Western Australia.

“Hey Nina, can I get another capp, please?” I ask the barperson.

“That’s number four, isn’t it?” she replies with a little smile on her face.

“I didn’t know you were keeping count! If you care for me that much, maybe I can take you out to dinner some time?”

“Nice try sweetie, but I wasn’t counting. That’s why I asked.”

We both smile and I get back to my book. She serves the coffee and tells me that she will close in an hour. I tell her that I’ll be done by then and hopefully by that time we will be having coffee somewhere, maybe my place. Better yet, hers! She shows me the finger as she turns away. I guess that means no. I check the time and it's a quarter past midnight. Then I get back to my book but my mind does not want to read. I wander into another world. I wander into the past. I wander into the depths of my soul I so often try to erase from memory. I wander into what I now convince myself is fiction. It was all my imagination, bits and pieces from all the novels I’ve been reading all these years. All rolled into one long, never ending fucked up life! I watch Nina as she polishes the glassware lined up in front of her.

Nina was a black haired girl of about twenty years of age and of Italian descent. A beautiful spectacle of a female, small oval face, green eyes and a small nose. Her dimpled smile never failed to make any of the customers feel comfortable. One of those friendly, genuine smiles. That and her naturally friendly nature is what has kept her working at the café for about two years now. Right about the time I started frequenting the place. I can’t say that she wasn’t the attraction but the food was great and the coffee brilliant, especially when she served it.

“Wanna hear a story?” I suddenly ask. It startled her out of her dreaming.

“What was that?” she asked.

“I was asking if you wanted to hear a story?” I shut the pages of my novel and put it down next to the cappuccino, still steaming from the mug.

“Sure, as long as it doesn’t end with you in my pants!”

We both chuckle. I tell her that it is nothing like that. This is a real story. The kind that makes you happy at the end and cry in the middle. It’s the kind that makes you melt when it all comes together and the kind that makes you mad when it falls apart. It’s the kind that makes for a best-selling novel that turns into a blockbuster movie.“Wanna hear it?” I ask as I take a sip from my mug with the cocoa powder coated froth.She puts the last glass down, wipes down the bar and says she’ll be there in a minute. She informs the other customers that the café is now closed. She makes herself a coffee and pulls out her cigarettes from her bag that’s been sitting under the bar all night and joins me at my table.

“This better be good sweetheart”, she says. She calls everyone a sweetheart.

“Well, you tell me after I’m done, alright?” I reply.

“I’m listening.”

The café was now empty. The lights were dim except for the ones over the bar. The sign on the door had been turned to “closed”. I finally got Nina to have a coffee with me. Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t pulling some pick-up stunt. The story I was about to tell was true. I use “was” because it already happened, a long time ago, once upon a time in a land far far away…